Miracles Inside Us
Miracles Inside Us
Her diagnosis was “stage four ovarian cancer.” An operation to remove a six-pound tumor along with one third of the stomach, lengths of the large and small intestine, and all the girl parts no longer necessary, well, no choices actually, everything goes. The surgeon left his mark, a scar running from the top of the torso to the bottom, nothing dainty here
The prognosis was not good, three to six months, lordy, lordy, what is that like? Why does shit happen to good people I wonder? I have cousins who do not believe there is a God and I also have friends that are devoutly religious. For myself I believe in a higher power and in some of my bleakest hours I confess to praying.
The world seems to be such an ugly place, brought about with the help of one lousy man, down South of us. How did this happen and when did we become so morally bankrupt that we allowed this to continue? Then came COVID and more soul-sucking challenges.
I need heroes right now and we need to witness good deeds and hear stories of promise and hopefulness. I want to be thankful for love and joy and family and friends. Let us share the good and uplift where we can. I refuse to let negativity rule my life, even for a minute! This is not easy to do, I will watch less news, I swear!
Last year my favorite uncle accepted his cancer prognosis and the three months left to him. No drama, just calm acceptance, no extra measures or treatments uh uh. He was totally at peace with this and waited to join the love of his life, my auntie, already in the ground for eight months. Quiet acceptance was his decision, I didn’t like it, but I accepted it.
This same uncle is still here and recently received a new prognosis, being hit by a bus or dying from cancer, same odds… WOW! He now has to live and find his joy in living. My joy was certainly increased by this turn of events. There are some people in my life I will find it very hard to live without if they leave me.
So, it was time to get my life in order, a ‘will’ to tie up loose ends in case I have anything left when I die, which is highly unlikely. I have not seen my lawyer in at least three or four years for sure. Her son has almost finished school and he was in grade school, when I last had dealings with her.
I am sitting waiting in her office, looking forward to catching up with our lives. In walks this vision that looks like she stepped out of a Vogue magazine! “OMG” I squealed out loud. “Does she look like this every day?“ I turn and ask the secretary. “Be truthful” I add, “yes she does” comes my answer.
This beautiful, caring person, my lawyer/friend is sporting a designer dress to die for, strappy heels that would kill me for sure, and a smile from ear to ear! I take in her hair, a cute French braid that ends at the shaved short nape area (in my first life I owned three hair salons).
I feel something big has transpired in her life to account for this transformation. This change is so dramatic, I need details… this woman is positively glowing. What the heck happened since I last saw her, I wonder?
Her story, above, unfolds over the next hour as we take care of my business, while catching up with our lives, well hers for sure. This is where the ‘ovarian cancer stage four’ diagnosis comes in. She is young but as it turns out was not really happy with her life choices. She let go of a man not right for her before her health issues manifested. Then came the troubling lump in her stomach that sent her in for a check-up.
The carnage wreaked upon her body was pretty thorough and brutal, leaving that huge scar. She chose to fight this battle; she has a son depending on her. What circumstances dictate how we should come to grips with our decisions to live or die? Why do some accept and give up while others fight til the last breath? I happen know some who choose to live their lives ‘on hold’ but that is for another story I need to write.
My friend has an aura, not that I can see it, but I can feel it emanate from within her. She did battle with the big C and emerged from a cocoon of emotional turmoil. She has transformed herself into this beautiful magical butterfly, flying into the joyful heights of living each day.
I wish I could say I had a part in this, I didn’t. She has been cancer-free for a year and has changed her life to accept only what fuels her joy. That we met up again I’m sure was meant to happen, I believe in stuff like that. She was already an inspiration to me. Look now, at what she has done, look what she is doing. MY GOD just look at her, Wow!
A life full of possibilities… unfettered enthusiasm, envisioning dreams of happiness for not only us, but for those we love. Do we all carry these little miracles inside of us? I happen to think we do. My friend has unleashed hers and it is emanating all over the place. You go, girl!
Can any of us experience this joy? I think WE CAN… I think these little miracles are inside us already. We need only to root out negativity and choose to live, these miracles will then unfold as we need them…
We are here only right now. That my friends is a secret some of us just know. This special woman has faced death, beat it, and chooses to live in the miracle of her life… every day.
amen
copyright 2018
update: my uncle got to live another couple of years and is no longer with us, losing him is still painful for me.