“Touching you touching me,” remember that ABBA song? or (professional hugger for hire)
This is the blog I worked on and finished before my golfing blog, it took me days to write this but the golfing one just flowed out in a couple of hours, so I posted it. Ironic I know, life is full of surprises.
My Sunday Funday blog
I may have stumbled upon something I need to explore more ‘in depth’ so to speak. It’s about ‘feels’ and most may already know everything there is about this, or not and I do not. We know when we feel good or when we feel bad but what about the ‘feels’ around grief and mad, how about the discombobulated ones?
It may be just me but I can’t put my finger on these new ‘feelings’ I’ve had lately. Grief has screwed with my brain for sure but I’m at a loss to figure out what some of these new feels are. Sometimes it’s an ache that keeps on giving even when I want it to stop. Enough already, but no, and it’s okay if I’m by myself but please not in front of people, why is that I wonder? Obviously, I don’t want to make a spectacle of myself but I especially don’t want pity, maybe just a hug.
Hugs could work for other emotions as well. Being a touchy-feely person myself, the lack of another sense was brought back to me with a jolt a few months back, while holding hands with a male friend. Lord strike me dead if I’m delusional but that act alone made me feel so good and complete somehow and I’m still trying to figure that one out. Now before you all start thinking aha.. she has found someone, that is not the case. It was more a case of I couldn’t keep up with him and didn’t know which direction we were headed in. So I asked if he would just take my hand. It was sad as well, I didn’t want him to ever let go and the ‘feel’ from that is making me wonder if am I missing something from my life.
Now I want to hold hands with more people but that could get me arrested or put in the looney bin. I already over-extend my hugs with my little granddaughter and she is very accommodating, hugs me back, and never complains. The food delivery people, not so much, and the Walmart greeter not at all. I wonder if I got a financial advisor would he hold my hands over the desk as he gives me advice on my money? Nah.. this wouldn’t work because I would actually need to have money.
Okay, call me crazy but why not start a business and have professional huggers and people willing to hold your hand while they pour their hearts out to you? The obvious logo springs forth ‘Hugs Not Drugs’ but what about hand-holding? A touch is worth so much? I kinda like that one and I wonder how much people would pay. I guess it would depend on the touch, hmmm… I think we will skip that one unless it is Tom Selleck and I would take out a loan for that feel.. lol. Wishing for a person to be still with us is futile I know, but Lord these feelings are so intense sometimes it is overwhelming.
Paying for someone to hug me other than Tom would be a stretch. Maybe a hugging pillow that emits warmth and a contented sigh once in a while, who wouldn’t buy that? Counting my blessings should be enough but, but… sometimes these feelings are hard to dismiss. One of my joys is writing and here I am musing about feelings. Being able to write about whatever I want does make me feel good, and that’s one blessing I need to count more often. What helps you to deal with your feelings? Food hmmm let’s not go there today, music also comes to mind. Lately, I seem to be getting out more and participating in stuff not really up my alley.
Volunteering would be a good way to get out of yourself and I have signed up at the YWCA thrift store for that. (I will tell them I am not allowed to buy stuff, I love thrift stores.. sigh) A brainwave just hit me, a professional hugger in a nursing home? Hell, I’m old enough to be in a nursing home, but don’t get any ideas (this is to my kids if you are reading this .. lol). Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving my life most of the time, it’s just once in a while that these foreign feelings are taking me by surprise. Of course, I think I have to analyze the shit out of it. Maybe it’s time to just go with the flow and, give in to the feels, and then get on with life. The golf I signed up for on a whim turned out to be really good and a trip to Toronto last minute was a blessing.
Life is full of feels.. at least it seems that way to me. Ahhhhhhh … an aha moment, how could I have forgotten.. those times when I lived my life on hold. That was so many years ago and in my second life. Then I started My Third Life and best life, each day is for living, feeling, and experiencing everything fully, and I have never looked back, uh uh.
There it is, I think I nailed it! What do you think?
November 30th 2022
See my “Is it okay if I touch you?” blog From Dec. 1st, 2022