Synder-tails an adult fairy tale including sex, not to be confused with fairytales for children? I was told my fiction story about a young gal named Synder, could not be for young adults if I had sexual references in them. Well.. it was a coming-of-age story, sorta biographical, and as a narrator, I made comments about future occurrences. These included sexual comments because even though they happened in the future, it was part of my story I was writing.
To be completely truthful, I had no idea who my audience would be or even what it was I was writing, other than it was supposedly a fiction piece. Was I writing an essay, a book, or just a semi-fictional biography? Putting memories down about my life could bring me some insights or maybe just closure on my absentee father. Unresolved feelings I had towards my mom dissipated long ago, a few years after her death actually. My dad still remains a mystery of sorts, one I haven’t figured out yet.
The anger I had for my mom was undeserved on her part, having my own children put that to rest. How is it we have these aha moments raising our own kids, and that turns our own parents into human beings we can relate to? I know, and yes I do have a daughter and you were right mom! How much of our past relates to our future, I wonder? I have some firm beliefs about absentee fathers, and myself. I also have thoughts on not having a strong independent mother to guide me.
So back to my ‘writing assignment’ and a writers forum that critiqued my submission, one of three that evening, under discussion. This was so totally out of my comfort zone. I understood all of the comments that related to where I was going with ‘my story’ because I didn’t know either. An attempt at fiction, relating it to my life growing up in two provinces, constantly changing schools, and having to make new friends.
I want to say it went well and what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. But, I am wounded, a surface wound to be sure, but maybe not. I actually did pick up a really good tip which could lead me in a direction I may explore before I give it up completely. Nobody likes criticism, some take it well and others like me tend to take it personally. I was ok, understanding and digesting all the comments until one guy spoke up and likened my writing as grade school stuff and my grammar as well. I think he even said it was painful to read, but I could be wrong.
Now just to keep the record straight he also disparaged another gals piece as well. To be honest, I think him being a man and all, it was hard for him to understand a woman’s point of view. Some men are sometimes condescending towards women. This guy has an attitude for sure but maybe he is just sexually deprived. Just to keep this straight, I will not give up because of his remarks. Rejection only makes me stronger, I just try harder before calling it quits, including relationships. I was married for 40 years so I have lots of experience with rejection.
The deal here is to know when to fold em.. my foray into writing fiction may be short-lived. The truth is, it’s hard for me to make stuff up. I write about the world around me, I keep up with current affairs, woman’s issues and especially how my ‘older’ self feels in today’s environment. My perspective is different from say a twenty-year-old or even a forty-year-old woman. Women my age have a lot to share and we actually are older and wiser, just don’t ask me to run or jog, its not in my vocabulary.
Talking about myself and my sex life or lack of one comes easily for me. We are here for such a short while. The older we get, this becomes alarmingly apparent. I love it when I can connect with someone that feels the same way I do, they don’t feel so alone, and neither do I. Starting a blog called My-Third Life, as a newly minted single in old age territory, is a journey of love for me. I don’t make shit up and stuff happens to me all the time.
I love my life and writing is now a part of it, if it is grade school grammar and all, well so be it! I am also losing the ability to remember stuff and spelling is even becoming an issue. Who ever thought that at my age I would be in a zoom meeting with a group of writers from Toronto? It may not have gone all that well, but this Saskatchewan gal is not a quitter.. !!!!! and I like using exclamation marks!